So what does Easter mean to me? To me it’s all about Jesus and His love for me and what he did for me. And if I was the only one alive....He would have done it for me. What does Jesus mean to me? He means everything to me...I can’t even remember a day with out Him. I am so thankful my parents prayed with me from the day I was born, I’m so thankful for the time they spent teaching me about the peace and purpose that Jesus offers us. I know not everyone has that experience and I count it a treasured gift. I vividly remember as a 5 year old asking my dad questions about Jesus and as a young child beginning to understand enough to know that I needed His help and I remember praying and putting my faith in Him. That was the beginning of a long and windy Faith journey for me with lots of mountain top experiences as well as deep valleys....I remember turning sweet 16, a sophomore in high school, and being bombarded by so many social choices. I remember wrestling with my faith....would I pursue the pleasures that surrounded me? Would I explore what seemed so appetizing and satisfying? Or was Jesus better than all that? Was His purpose for my life more fulfilling than what was the most popular way to go?
In those weeks and months, I had an amazing woman who poured into my life. She was about 10 years older than me and she began asking me the hard questions and listening to me....I knew she loved me and she was praying for me. As I wrestled, I remember laying in bed one night and making the decision that I would make Jesus Lord of my life. Lord....what does that mean? To me, it meant that He would be in charge....that I would lean into His Word and I would make Him most important. That I would trust Him with my life completely.
Like every teenager out there, I was faced with all the temptations, but I am so thankful by God’s grace, He guided me, He protected me and He gave me strength & confidence to follow His way. As a result of following Him fully, I look back and see His hand was upon on me in the opportunities He gave me to lead others and serve others throughout high school and college. He led me to the college I attended.....He gave me the courage and confidence to step out and spend a summer far away from my family and all things familiar which is where I met Jeremy on the first day I pulled up.
Jesus is the one who has led us every step of our marriage....it’s not perfect. It’s hard work.....really hard work. But He continues to guide us. Jesus is the one who met me in my deepest days of grief as I walked through multiple miscarriages and struggled with infertility. He gave me peace that no one else could offer. He gave me hope and assurance that I would see those babies again one day in heaven. Jesus carried my body through the difficult days of pregnancy when my body was so weak. He gave me strength as my body was so fragile and weak during the months of postpartum. Pregnancy & postpartum were difficult for me yet filled with so many answered prayers and the most joyful season of my life. Joy doesn’t often mean happiness....it means peace and a deep joy that comes from faith in what we can not see or understand.
Jesus blessed us with our four beautiful babies....and I know He has unique purposes for each of their lives. That gives me such gratitude and peace. It also gives me a deep desire to be faithful to the calling of motherhood, to diligently teach them what matters most in life.
Jesus and I have celebrated the greatest joys together. Falling in love with Jeremy, following His leading through my teaching career, holding my sweet newborn babies and experiencing the fulfillment each and every day of living life with Him. However, Jesus and I have also experienced the deepest of sadness and grief. Walking through my mom’s ALS diagnosis and death a few years ago came with so many questions. Why her? Why my mom? Why someone who was such a selfless kind and Godly woman? I may never get those questions answered. But I can tell you that Jesus walked with me and often carried me every day of that hard journey of grief. He showed me that often when we are walking through our deepest valley, He will use us if we are willing to encourage someone else in a valley. He always is working life for our eternal good and for His glory and we can lean into that promise.
Jesus gives me faith to trust Him, He gives me hope that He has wonderful plans for my life and he gives me peace that I can rest in Him.
The death of Jesus long ago was a dark day.....yet His obedience in death.....brought a Resurrection day 3 days later. And that day means everything! My Jesus is alive! He is not dead! He conquered death. He brings peace, hope and purpose. So no matter the depth of grief or the highest of joys, I have full confidence that He will be with me forever. It gives me hope that no matter what happens on this earth that this is not my home! This is not the end......we are here for just a vapor of time. Because of his resurrection, we know He offers eternal life to all of us and the power of His spirit to walk with us through this life.
I pray this Easter with all going on in the world, that we will continue to make time to press in and think about what Easter really means to each one of us. Jesus wants a relationship with each of us, He wants to walk with us each day and guide us.....He wants us to share our deepest fears and our greatest joys with Him....He wants us to surrender our lives to him and receive the peace, hope and purpose that His resurrection brings to each one of us .....for us individually....for our children.....and for our families. May He be the reason we wake up each day....to Love Him, Know Him and Serve Him fully. I’m thankful this Easter weekend....and my heart is full.
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