This past Thursday evening...
Friday afternoon following my surgery I posted this...
Friday evening...
Sunday morning...
Looking back, I know that I struggled with my breathing in all of my 6 pregnancies, even the 2 pregnancies which ended in miscarriage...but every doctor told me it was just the blood volume, my anatomy and pressure from the baby. I had even seen specialists who mis-diagnosed me with sinus infections, asthma and vocal cord dysfunction. In between each pregnancy, I did have some relief as I was able to exercise and enjoy life for the most part...but this pregnancy escalated and was the worst by far. Since pregnancy is so extremely challenging for my body and I struggle with extreme nausea and fatigue, I believe those symptoms masked an underlying greater life-threatening issue.
I know it was by no mistake or coincidence that my OBGYN was aggressive in pursuing the cause for my struggle to breath last Wednesday. She barely said one word about the baby other then "Whitney your baby is fine but you are not." She listened patiently to my history, but was not taking my prior diagnosis as the cause. I praise God for her intiative and I give Him all the glory for stirring her spirit and making her restless. She sent me to the ENT across the hallway and that kind man was diligent in thoroughly checking me out....as soon as he scoped my airway, he quickly called for his colleague who, praise God, had worked alongside an airway specialist in Augusta and had seen one young, pregnant girl who had my same issue. They saw my airway was 70% closed and immediately contacted the airway specialists. God completely went before us...she was a believer and went the extra mile to bring comfort and reassurance to me as she sent us on to Augusta, which was exactly one hour away and where we have Jeremy's brother's family there for support. None of those details were by coincidence....
We quickly loaded the kids, packed bags and headed to Augusta. The specialist saw me right away and was the kindest, most intelligent Doctor I have ever met. As every good doctor should do, he proceeded to explain to us all the details of my diagnosis and the seriousness of my condition. He reassured us that he felt confident in performing the surgery necessary, but also was very clear about the risks involved. After, much discussion and endless questions on our part, he expressed to us that he would do the surgery that moment if I had not just eaten lunch. The emotions, fear, doubt began to try and creep in....and at that moment he grabbed my hand and Jeremy's and asked if he could pray over us. Amazing...and in this day in age...unheard of...a physician praying over his patient and crying out to the Great Physician for wisdom, peace and healing. Jeremy and I both had tears flowing down our faces....but as we continued to pray the tears of fear became tears of peace...God had planned this every detail and God knew that I needed to be right there in that office in the care of a Godly skilled physician who trusted in the power of Jesus and would offer us the reassurance that we needed in that moment when fear gripped us both. Jeremy was able to pray over the doctor and we praised God for guiding our steps to him.
It's never healthy to think about or dwell on the "what-ifs", but if God had not prompted my OBGYN to send me to an ENT, who's partner had seen this once before....and she had worked with the specialist in Augusta.....I could have lost my life. My airway was too narrow to be intubated and therefore any emergency would have left emergency room doctors in panic. I know none of this was by coincidence or chance. My all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present God had me in the palm of His hand.
That night we stayed with family there near the hospital, it was hard to sleep and my mind wanted to race but the Lord quieted me with His love and as I meditated on His Word, He gave me peace that was far beyond my understanding.
Throughout the morning of surgery, I can't even describe the peace I experienced. It's crazy to even grasp that they would be breathing for me...I would be lying paralyzed on an operating table all the while my little 20 week old baby kicking and flipping inside totally unaware.
Once the process began, it was fast moving to get me to the operating room. Jeremy walked beside me as they rolled me down and we kissed good-bye. I was at such peace....they rolled me in the chilling operating room filled with every medical gadget imagineable. Fear had been trying to ease its way in throughout the process of all the repetitive questions each team member asked as I realized not one of the team members had every seen a case like me. A narrowing of the airway due to pregnancy and too narrow to intubate... But, as soon as my surgeon walked in the operating room, I had peace. As my arms and head were held down and the weighted heated blanket lay on top of me, I took off my oxygen mask and told my surgeon that he was being prayed for by so many and it was time for us both to trust the Lord. He immediately said, "I am praying over this woman, if anyone is offended, you can step aside." Not one person moved aside. My surgeon prayed over me and lifted me up to the Great Physician. Within seconds, I was asleep...and then waking up from surgery amazed at how freely I could breathe. All glory goes to my Jesus!!
Since that day, I've joined the one world-wide Facebook group of Idiopathic Subglottis Stenosis, I am learning and gaining more knowledge of my condition. It is very rare and even more rare in pregnancy. But, I really feel confident that as my dr stated the pregnancy hormones have caused this over several years. I will use the knowledge I am able to gain in caring for my body the best I can, eliminating certain foods in order to produce the best and strongest body possible. I will use my experience to participate in a Vanderbilt study to bring awareness to the medical community. I will continue to pray and pray believing that this one surgery is all I will need and that once I am not pregnant my body will heal and be restored. I trust that no matter what the future holds, my God has got this, nothing will surprise Him and I can rest in His good and perfect plan.
To God be the Glory!
I pray that God will use my story to encourage others that no matter where you are or what you are going through, you can place your trust in a God who loves you more then you can ever imagine. I pray that others will see the authentic peace and joy that comes from Jesus Himself. I pray others will hear my story and know that life doesn't just happen by chance or coincidence but that God has a plans do even when the plan seems like chaos, He is there and holding us and offers peace. He is a God of purpose, a God who offers u conditional love and a God who is always working things for our good. I know I am a stronger woman, a more loving wife and a more patient mother because of my experience last week. I know that life's daily worries seem more minuscule to me now and that my faith has been built stronger. I know I will squeeze this little baby tighter than ever when I finally have the privilege to meet him or her face to face. :) I am looking forward to that delivery day more than ever!!
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